It has been so long since I last updated this blog. Everything has changed. Day by day, I survive through with misery. It has become from bad to worse. I try so hard to hide my emotions but I've the feeling that I'm not gonna make it. Countless of unhappiness "incidents" has happened for the past few weeks, how I hope there's someone I care, to share the burden with me....
Depression, misery, pressure and pills. That's how I passed my days recently, I guess I really need a long break. Injuries, illness, family issue, academic issue and relatioship issue... I'm numb and so sick of everthing. I can't even play sports and musical instrument now which are something I used to be proud of. I've really no idea how long more I can make it...
What if I could just cry out loud like everyone else, maybe I'll feel better...
why do I have to face all this shit alone... That has also turned me into a liar n coward.. I'm so afraid to tell the truth or trust anyone. I'm sorry to whoever I've lied, but that's the only way to keep my life smooth and peaceful.
Thinking back to my teenage life, That's only one word to describe me. Retard. I was just simply too arrogant, unthoughtful and proud. How can I do or say such things to person whom I love. I might not be good in expressing myself , but that's not an excuse for myself. It's all too late. The only thing I could say is, "I'm sorry and I really love you!!"
I guess no matter how hard I try, nothing will work out in my life, it's my life I guess.
If there's really a god out there, please ensure all the people whom I love are healthy and happy, I'll be more than satisfied.
